Roll Up the Rim!


Roll Up the Rim!

Hamilton, Ontario is the capitol of a Canadian coffee & donut empire operated under the franchised name of Tim Horton, a  hockey player who died in an alcohol related car crash. Its current promotional campaign offers a chance to win 15  “Jimmy” sports vehicles for the price of a cup of coffee. Each paper coffee cup has a “You Win” or a “Try Again” message under the rim. Reformed habitués have been seen “rolling up the rim, for a chance to win”.


Roll Up the Rim!

I love to go to Horton’s
to buy a pair of dice.
With two cups of coffee
I get to roll them twice.

Most know that I view gambling
and coveting as sin.
But ... with a cup of coffee
I’ll roll those rims to win!

Casinos are an evil
and Bingo I must shun.
But at Horton’s coffee shop
I gamble ‘just for fun’.

I like mine ‘double-double’
and in a paper cup.
And while the coffee’s scalding hot
I roll the rim right up.  

Coffee is addictive;
I crave my caffeine.
But coffee gives a bigger kick
if I can roll to win.

The founder of this franchise
played hockey every night,
until he gambled with his life
and rolled his rims ...and died.

I’ll never play the ponies,
or buy those penny stocks.
Who really needs those games of chance
with Horton’s down the block?

Why take a flight to Vegas
when, right in my hometown,
I can hide my betting chips
in various shades of brown?

Many of Tim Horton’s
are recently ‘Smoke Free’.
Fear of cancer now won’t keep
me from their lottery.

I’m glad I’m not like others
who clamor:
I pray for GOD this cup to bless,


J J Kuntz
June 1999  

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